Animal Jokes 21

1.A farmer, concerned about well-meaning holiday-makers feeding his horse, put up a notice that read: “Please do not feed cakes and buns to the horse. Signed: The farmer.” Shortly afterwards the horse put up another notice that read: “Please do not pay attention to the above notice. Signed: The horse”

2.Q)Where do frogs borrow money from?
A):A river bank

3..A Lion gave his wedding party to all other lions. He saw a rat dancing in the party and he asked how you are here?
Rat said, before wedding i was also a lion!!...

Aimal Jokes 20

1.A frog went to an astrologer and was told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young woman, who will want to know everything about you.” The frog said, “That’s great! Will I meet her at a party?” “No”, said the astrologer, “Next term—in her biology class.”

2. What did the dog say to the boy pulling his tail?
Ans:"That's the end of me!!!"

3.A boy was walking along a street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one man and asked him “What is happening?” “A lion has escaped from the zoo!” was the reply. “Oh my God! Which way is it heading,” asked the boy. “Well, do you think we are chasing it?” the man retorted.

Animal Jokes 19

1.What is the difference between a musician and a dead dog? Ans: One composes and one decomposes!

2.One day all the Mouse were running.A rabbit stopped them and asked "What happened".Somebody raped Lions sister and Lion is doubting us !!!

3.WHERE DO BIRDS GO TO HAVE A COFFE?
Ans.NESTCAFE

Animal Jokes 18

1.Q:Why do cows wear bells?
Ans:Because their horns dont work.

2.Once four boys were playing,when suddenly the 1st boy said:"Do you guys know my dad's a spiderman". Then the 2nd added:"But that's nothing mine's batman" Then spoke the 3rd:"Your dad's are nothing,my dad's 'HEMAN'" Then the poor 4th fellow had to say something as his friends were exaggerating so he said:"My dad is a dobberman"

3.Once two donkeys happened to see a zebra. First donkey-'Look at that strange creature. Second donkey- He looks like one of us except for his stripes. First donkey- I know how he got those stripes. Second donkey- How? First donkey- He is probably a donkey who has been to jail.

Animal Jokes 17

1.A leopard went to an optometrist because he thought he should have his eyes examined."Every time I look at my wife,I see spots before my eyes,"he exclaimed."You've nothing to worry about'"said the doctor."All leapords have spots." "Of course I know'"said the leapord,looking even worried,"but my wife is a zebra."

2. OCTOPUS:I AM GROWING FAT. WHAT SHOULD I DO? FISH:YOU SHOULD EAT FROM ONE HAND INSTEAD OF EIGHT HANDS.

3.Q)What is a zebra?
A)A horse in jail

Animal Jokes 16

1.There were three ants colour of the skin of first ant was black,second ants skin colour was black,third ant was very beautiful.One day black and beautiful one asked red why are u so much red . So she answered i have very much of blood in me.Then red and beautiful one asked black why r u so much black. So she ansered i am in sun light for a long time.Then black and red asked beautiful one why r u so much beautiful.So she answered i put fair and lovely cream on my face

2.Aahuti: Would you like to come and play with our new dog? Abhi: Well he sounds high-does he bite? Aahuti: That's what I want to find out.

3.A lady once went to a pet store and asked the storekeeper for a parrot that could speak. The storekeeper showed the lady into a room where there were many birds he then showed her a parrot which was sitting on a swing in it's cage and had two strings tied to both his feet , the storekeeper then told the lady that if she pulled the string tied to the left the parrot woud say" GOOD DAY " and if she pulled the string tied to the right leg it would say " HOW DE DO " the lady pulled the strings one at a time and the parrot said just what the storekeeper said it would say. Then the lady asked the storekeeper what the parrot would do if she pulled both the strings at the same time and then the parrot replied " I'LL FALL OFF THE SWING YOU BUBLEHEADED IDIOT ".

Animal Jokes 15

1.A FAMILY OF LIONS IN THE AFRICAN SAFARI PARK LOOKED UP AS A CAR CRAMMED WITH 8 TOURISTS PULLED CLOSE TO THEM PAPA LION TO HIS FAMILY:ITS CRUEL TO KEEP THEM CAGED UP LIKE THAT.

2.Q) What is difference between elephant and a house fly A)fly can sit on elephant but elephant cannot sit on fly

3.Once all the ants went in search of food,in that crowd of ants there was a white ant ---- Why was there a white ant in that crowd while the others were red and black?
Ans:because the ant was a widow.

Animal Jokes 14

1.What did the kangaroo say when she discovered her little roo was missing?
My pocket's been picked!

2. Q:What do you call a sleepy bull.
A:Bulldozer

3.A man comes out of a fast food resturant and starts eating his sandwich. A lady with a small dog comes across from the other side of the road. The dog keeps yapping at the man, trying to get at the food."Can I throw him a bit?" the man asks the dog-owner."Certainly," said the lady. The man picked the dog up and threw him over a nearby wall.

Animal Jokes 13

1.Customer(jokingly)to waiter in the hotel:Bring me a plate of veg chicken.
Waiter:Right away sir
after some time... Waiter: Here's your order sir
Customer(out of astonishment): Is this chicken really vegetarian?
Waiter: Yes sir it ate only grains!

2. Once a upon a time there were 3 ants. One was black,one was white and the other one was red. the black ant and the white ant asked the red ant why are u so red. So he said b'coz I suck humans blood. then the red ant and the white ant asked the black ant why are you so black.So he said b'coz i work in the sun. the red ant and the black ant asked the white ant why are you so white.then she replied b'coz I put fair and lovely...ha!!ha!!

3. How do you start a teddy bear race?
Say "ready teddy go!"

Animal Jokes 12

1.Once there was a scientist who was experimenting that whether a frog can jump or not after cutting his legs. These are his observations 1. after cutting one leg the frog can jump. 2. after the the scecond leg the frog jumps with difficulty. 3. after cutting the third leg the frog jumps with greater difficulty 4. after cutting the fourth leg the frog turns deaf.

2.Once a lady helps a frog from being eaten by a snake.The frog tells her to ask him any three wishes,but her husband would get 10% more than what she wishes.
The lady says her first wish is "To be the most beautiful woman in the whole world.
"The frog says "But your husband will be 10% more handsome than you.
"The lady says "Never mind. I will be the most beautiful lady so he will come to me only.
The lady says her second wish is "To be the richest woman in the world.
"The frog says"But your husband will be 10% more richer than you.
The lady says "Never mind."
Now, the lady tells her third wish "Give me a small heartattack."


Well all u ladies(Girls) don’t think that you all are very intelligent .The husband gets a heart attack 10 times milder han his wife.

3.What is an Owl's favourite subject? Owl-zebra

Animal Jokes 11

1.What bird can lift the most?
A crane.

2.What is the vampire's favourite slogan?
Please Give Blood Generously.

3.Once the couple visited the zoo. They noticed that all the animals are laughing except donkey
Couple asked watchman :- why all animals are laughing but donkey is not laughing.
Watchman said to couple :- One of the animals had told a joke so every animal understood the joke except donkey didn't understood the joke. after 1 week the couple again visited the same zoo. They noticed that all animals were quiet but donkey was laughing.
They asked again to watchman. Couple :- why all animals are quiet but donkey is laughing.
Watchman to couple :- because 1 week ago there was a joke on which all animals were laughing and donkey didn't understood that joke, today the same joke donkey has understood and he is laughing now.

Animal Jokes 10

1.Two men were out hunting when one of them saw a rabbit. "Quick," said the first, "shoot it."
"I can't," said the second. "My gun isn't loaded."
"Well," said the first," you know that, and I know that, but the rabbit doesn't."

2.A little monster was learning to play the violin. "I'm good, aren't I?" he asked his big brother.
"You should be on the radio," said the brother.
"You think I'm that good?"
"No, I think you're terrible, but at least if you were on the radio, I could switch you off."

3.A duck walks into a feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?"
The clerk tells him, "No, we don't have a market for it so we don't carry it."
The duck says,"Okay," and leaves.
The next day, the duck again walks in to the feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?"
Again the clerk says "No" and the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck once again walks in, and asks, "Got any duck feed?"
The clerk says, "I've told you twice, we don't have duck feed, we've never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed. If you ask me again,I'll nail your feet to the floor." The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck walks in and asks, "Got any nails?"
"No." "Got any duck feed?"

Animal Jokes 9

1.Customer: "When I bought this cat, you told me he was good for mice. He doesn't go near them!"
Shopkeeper: "Well, isn't that good for mice?"

2.How can you tell if two octopus' are lovers ?
They walk arm in arm in arm in arm!

3. LION:I AM GOING TO EAT YOU. 1ST MAN: DON'T EAT ME.EAT THAT FAT MAN.HE HAS WARM BLOOD. LION:TODAY I WANT A COLD DRINK .

Animal Jokes 8

1.Ajay: My dog is very intelligent.
Timmy: How do you know?
Ajay: When I asked him what is 2 - 2 he kept quiet.

2.What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
They're both extinct.

3.Gagan: "A dog bit me on the leg this morning."
Mohit: "Did you put anything on it?"
Gagan: "No, he liked it plain."

Animal Jokes 7

1.A boy went into a pet_shop and said to the man behind the counter, "Have you got any parrot-seed?"
"Oh.you've got a parrot, have you?" said the man.
"No," said the boy. "But I'd like to grow one!"

2. Teacher: John name me six animals that live on the snow. John:Three polar bears and three penguins.

3.Q: What did honey bee say when come back to home? A: "Honey i am home."

Animal Jokes 6

1. Customer:- How long do you expect me to wait for half chicken?
Waiter:- Until someone else order for the other half. We can't go & kill half a hen!

2.Why do gorrillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers

3.A farmer concerned about well-meaning holiday makers feeding his horse. The farmer put a notice that said: Please do not feed cakes and buns to the horse
signed: The farmer.
Shortly afterwards the horse had put a notice that said: Please do not pay attention to the above notice.
signed: The horse

Animal Jokes 5

13.An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants.
Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground.
As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!"

14.ELEPHANT WAS ANGRY WITH ANT & WAS SEARCHING HER SUDDENLY HE FOUND THE ANT IN TEMPLE IN THE PLATE OF PRASAD HOW THE ELEPHANT FOUND HER
ANS:- ANT'S SHOES WERE AT THE GATE OF TEMPLE

15.Teacher:Name an animal found in the desert?
Rahul:Camel.
Teacher: Good,name another animal found in the desert?
Rahul:Another camel

Animal Jokes 4

1.A snail got mugged by two tortoises. When he went to the police, they questioned him as to what happened.
He said, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

2.A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, ''Hey, we have a drink named after you!''
The grasshopper looks surprised and says, ''You have a drink named Steve?''


3.Witch: "I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someone's ear off!"
Doctor: "Oh dear, that's a lot of calories"

Animal Jokes 3

1.A family of mice were surprised by a big cat.
Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away.
"What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse.
"Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

2.Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, and let’s eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"

3.What should you do if you find yourself in the same room as Frankenstein, Dracula, a werewolf, a vampire and a coven of witches?
Keep your fingers crossed that it's a fancy dress party.

Animal Jokes 2

1.Baby snake to its mother: Are we poisonous?
Mother: Why?
Baby: Because I've just bitten my tongue!

2.A frog went to an astrologer and was told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog said, “That’s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?”
“No”, said the astrologer, “Next term—in her biology class.”

3.First cow: Moo
Second cow: Baa
First cow: What do you mean, baa?
Second cow: I’m learning a foreign Language.

Animal Jokes 1

1.A man visited a headmaster who was playing chess with his dog.
"Your dog must be very intelligent," said the man.
"Not really," said the headmaster. "I've won three games out of four."


2.Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.


3.Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can’t even ride a bicycle

Elephant Jokes 6

1. Once an ant goes to a pond where some elephants were taking bath!and asks..... Elephants:what are you doing here? Can't you see we are taking bath? Ant: Oh! Yes I can see ! but fist you all come out! Elephants:But why? Ant:Let me see that you wore my underwear?

2. Once an ant falls in love with an elephant but ant's parents refuse to get them marry . tell why? Because ant's mother said "Th elephants teeth are sticking out"

Elephant Jokes 5

1. What is as big as an elephant but weighs absolutely nothing? Its shadow

2. Ant:What is your age?
Elephant:My age is 5 years.
Ant:Such a young age and such a huge body.
Elephant:Tan Kee Shakti, Man Ki Shakti, Bournvita!!
Ant:Ok
Elephant:What is your age?
Ant:My age is 18 Years.
Elephant:18 years and such a small body looks as if you are very young.
Ant:Fair and Lovely lagao aur apni umar chhupao!!

3. Question. An elephant was standing in a queue.Suddenly he turns back & says something to the ant standing behind him?? Guess what does he say??? Answer.Please do not push me!!

Elephant Jokes 4

1. Why is the elephant scared of the computer? Because of the mouse.

2. Dog:Where are you going?
Ant:My rakhi brother the elephant has met with an accident.Since we have the same blood group,I am going to donate some blood for him.

3. One day an elephant was crying and an ant came to him and said, "Why are you crying?"
He replied that a friend of ant's has stolen his sleepers.

Elephant Jokes 3

1. an elephant and an ant was riding a bike the had an accident and the elephant got hurt but the ant didn't.why? because he was wearing a helmet but still the ant went to the hospital. why? To donate blood to the elephant.

2. Q: Why Did the Elephant Hide behind the Strawberry bush?
A: The elephant and the ant were playing hide and seek.

3. Once the ant and the elephant were playing hide n seek game. It was elephant's turn to catch the ant but the ant was caught. She was hiding in the temple.
The ant asked how he came to know that she was hiding in the temple.
Elephant replied that he saw her sandals lying outside.

Elephant Jokes 2

1. Q.Which is the bigest ant in the world?
A.ELEPHANT.

2. Once an ant was on her way to a restaurant on a scooter,on the way she meets a elephant who asks her to give him a lift,she tells him to sit at the back.
----------while they were travelling, they meet another elephant asking for a lift, but the ant refuses,why???
Ans:Traffic rules say,three persons not allowed on 1 scooter.

3. An elephant and ant were friends. They decided to go to swimming. They went to a swimming pool but when the ant swims the elephant sits and when elephant swims the ant sits. why?
Ans: Because they have only one swimming costume.

Elephant Jokes 1

1.Once an ant and elephant were going on a new scooter.They met with an accidant.The elephant was died but ant was alive. Why?Because ant was wearing a helmate.

2. How does an elephant go on holiday?
He takes a jumbo jet!

3. Aisha:How does an elephant get down from a tree?
Rissa:He sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.

SMS Jokes 18

1. Once a Loosmotion Pateint comes to a doctor.... Pateint:Doctor, Doctor!I am becomming fat and fat every day!. Please give me some medicine! The doctor give him 2-3 tablets.... Pateint: Thank you! very much doctor but how many times do I have to take it? Doctor:You don't have to take it! Just throw them Fifty times and pick up Fifty times!

2. Once a man goes to a doctor and says that when i touch my head i get pain and when i touch anywhere in my body with my index finger i get pain doctor said "you stupid you have pain in your finger".

3. Once a patient comes to a doctor and says:"Doctor!doctor!Before waking up I can't sleep & before sleeping i cant wake". The doctor got confused and after thinking for a long time he said:"Then,take these four tablets, eat two before waking and two after sleeping'.

SMS Jokes 18

1. A patient named bholu had a severe stomach ache.he consulted a doctor,the doctor told him yo follow the prescription.the prescription flew out of the window.after some days bholu came back to doctor ,his most of the body was bandaged.the doctor asked him how did he got hurt ,he replied you told me to follow the prescription and the prescrirtion flew out of the window and i jumped from the floor to follow the prescription.

2. PATIENT:DOCTOR I FEEL LIKE A ELECTRIC CURRENT. DOCTOR:HOW SHOCKING.

3. Patient : My daughter is crying for everything Doctor : Dont worry ! She 'll become a teleserial star

SMS Jokes 17

1. Patient:"Will my false teeth look real?" Dentist:Madam, I'ii make them so natural,they'll ache"

2. Patient:Doctor i see everything double. Doctor:so,u all 4 have the same problem.

3. Mother:Why are you jumping up & down? Tina:I've just had my medicine but I forgot Shaking the bottle.

SMS Jokes 16

1. Docter: Nurse did you boil the instruments?
Nurse:Docter I roasted it for a change.

2. Patient:Doctor my nose is running.
Doctor:Go chase it.

3. Patient in a city hospital asks a doctor:Sir,I'm the patient that u treated 2 months ago from phneoumia.
Doctor:Oh!yes now I remember so how do u feel now?
Patient:I feel fine but u told me not to take a bath can I take it now!

4. Doctor:Don't you know that my consultation time is from 11:30am to 4:30pm and now its 5;30pm. Boy:Doctor,I am sorry but the dog that bit me did not know the time.

SMS Jokes 15

1. Son- Daddy why do you wear a mask in operation theater.
Father- Well son , I need to make sure no one identifies me if something goes wrong.

2. Ranjeeta: How can I get to the hospital fast.
Deepeka: Just go and stand in the middle of the road

3. PATIENT:I HAVE GOT A VERY BIG DISEASE. DOCTOR:WHAT IS IT? PATIENT:I DON'T KNOW.

SMS Jokes 14

1. Ragini: My tooth was aching yesterday, so I went to the dentist
Rohini: Does your tooth still ache?
Ragini: I don’t know – the dentist kept it with him.

2. Once a patient went to the doctor and told him that"doctor when i wash my hands they get wet.So tell me an idea so that they never get wet ." Then the doctor says "never wash your hands ."

3. Doctor:what has happened to you?
Patient:i am feeling ill.pls give me some medicine
Doctor: I will give u three pills ,eat them after sleeping & before waking up.

SMS Jokes 13

1. Man: “Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?”
Doctor: “Use a pencil ‘till I get there”

2. Dentist: “Stop making faces! I have not even touched your tooth yet”
Patient: “I know you haven’t, but you are standing on my foot.”

3. A man goes to the doctor for surgery. The man says to the doctor "I am very nervous doctor because it is the first time that I am going to have surgery"
So the doctor replies: "I understand you perfectly I am nervous too since it is the first time that I am going to perform surgery.

SMS Jokes 12

1. A MAN APPROACED A VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN A LARGE SUPER MARKET AND SAID. "YOU KNOW I HAVE LOST MY WIFE HERE IN THE SUPERMARKET. CAN YOU PLEASE TALK TO ME FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES" "BUT HOWS THAT GOING TO HELP ?" ASKED THE WOMAN WELL REPLIED THE MAN " BECAUSE EVERY TIME I TALK TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, MY WIFE APPEARS OUT OF NO WHERE "

2. One day a man saw a beggar on the street. He went to him and said "If you stop begging I will pay you Rs 1000 per month".
In reply the begger said "Come and beg with me and I will pay you Rs5000 per month.

3. Teacher: “I wish you’d pay a little attention.”
Jugal: “I’m paying as little attention as possible.”

SMS Jokes 11

1. DOCTOR:RAM,YOU NEED GLASSES. RAM:HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WITHOUT EXAMINING ME? DOCTOR:I KNEW IT AS SOON AS YOU CAME IN THROUGH THE WINDOW OF MY CLINIC.

2. Nurse: "Wake up man".
Patient: "Why what's the matter"
Nurse: "Nothing, I just forgot to give you the prescribed sleeping pills".

3. Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

SMS Jokes 10

1.Patient:Doctor,I am suffering from forgetfulness.Doctor:From when are you suffering from this disease?Patient:Which disease are tou talking about?

2. Patient: "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
Doctor: "I'm not surprised. We've amputated your arms."

3.Once a patient went to the Doctor and said,"my hair is falling .Can u give me anything to keep it in?" So,then the doctor said tha yes u can hve a polythin bag.

SMS Jokes 9

1. Doctor:tell me how many fingers are these?Patient:thirteen.Doctor :I don't understand your eyes are weak or your arithmatic?

2. Patient:Doctor,Everyday I dream that I am drowning in the sea. Doctor:Start learning how to swim then.

3. A man with two red ears went to his doctor. Doctor: “What happened to your ears?
Man: "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
Doctor: "Oh Dear!But...what happened to your other ear?"
Man: "The scoundrel called back."

SMS Jokes 8

1. Man in Delhi:I have a severe foot ache. Doctor after examining says-"You should walk for 4 km everyday".After a month the doctor receives a call from the same patient saying,"I am now in Agra, how much more should I walk?"

2. Patient: Doctor, i see double
Doctor:sit on the chair please
Patient:which one.

3. Patient:doctor,i've lost my memory.
Doctor:when did this happen?
Patient:when did what happen?

SMS Jokes 7

1. PATIENT : I FEEL LIKE I'am A DOG DOCTOR : SINCE WHEN PATIENT : SINCE I WAS A PUPPY.

2. Patient:Doctor!Doctor!One of my eyes is different from the other!Doctor:Really,which one.

3. Man:Doctor,whenever I drink my coffee,I get a sharp pain in my eye.What should I do?Doctor:Just remove the spoon from your cup.

SMS Jokes 6

1. "Doctor I keep stealing things. What can I do?""Try to resist the temptation but if you can't, get me a new television"

2. PATIENT:-DOCTOR I AM FEELING SEVER ITCHING,GIVE ME A MEDICINE PLEASE.
DOCTOR:-TAKE THIS SLIP TO THE MEDICAL SHOP
PATIENT:-IF I USE THIS MEDICINE,I CAN SOLVE THIS ITCHING.
DOCTOR:-I GAVE THIS FOR GROWING YOUR NAILS FOR SCRATCHING.

3. Patient:Why does everyone ignore me?
Doctor:Next Please!!!!!!

SMS Jokes 5

1. Father:"Thanks a lot doctor for saving my sons life.Doctor:"It's God who has saved your life.after sometime.Doctor:"My fee??"Father:"'ll send it to God through money order"!!

2. While visiting a friend who was in the hospital,I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what was the significance."Nothing,"she said with a smile."It,s just to keep the doctors away."

3. Assistant: Doctor the invisible man has come for his check up.Doctor: Tell him I can't see him.

SMS Jokes 4

1.Patient:Doctor,I feel so sick I want to die!Doctor: Don't worry, Just leave that job to me.

2. Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.Don't talk rubbish!

3. Lady to the doctor over the phone. “ Doctor, I beg of you, please prescribe me something immediately to reduce my weight. My husband has given me a wonderful birthday present, and I can’t get into it. “
Doctor:” Just come over here tomorrow, and I shall give you a prescription. Then you will soon be able to wear your wonderful new dress.”
Lady: “ Who said anything about a dress? I am talking of car.”

SMS Jokes 3

1. If ppl say u r crazy b patient, u r monkey relax, u r mad b cool, bt if they say u r smart, thappad lagana sale ko! mazaak ki bhi had hoti hai....:)

2..Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai. Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa: I'm falling in love.

3. There are two parts of this brain i.e. RIGHT and LEFT.
1) In LEFT part, there is nothing RIGHT.
2) And in RIGHT part, there is nothing LEFT."

SMS Shairie 1

1.Muskil nahi sayad kisiko samaj pana,samjhe bina kisi se kyadil lagana,aasan hai kisiko pyar karma, par bahut mushkil hai kisi ka pyar pana..

2.Kabhi subah ko yaad aate ho kabhi sham ho yaad aate ho,Kabhi-kabhi toh itna yaad aate ho ki aaina hum dekhte hai nazar tum aate ho.

3.Koi kehta hai dosti NASHA ban jati hai,koi kehta hai dosti SAZA ban jati hai, Magar humne Dekha DIL se tu DOSTI jine ki wajah ban jati hai

SMS Jokes 2

1. Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe
ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

2. Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name
from NASA to SATYANASA.

3.The latest pledge of Boys::INDIA is our nation , all girls r our destination,dating is
our occupation,flirting is our profession,To HELL with Education.

SMS Jokes 1

1. Tharo SMS jab aave hai to mahro rom rom machal jave hai,Ang ang me gud gudi
hove hai, o tharo SMS ro kasoor koni, kamcakhat mobile hi viberation par hove
hai.

2. NBDY Can Stop me. I will send SMS till …
My death? No!

Ur death? No!

World exist? No!

Oxygen available? No!

Truly Speaking till SMS is FREE.

3. Take a Basket Of Grapes, then take the basket in ur hands & look in the mirror.
Guess what u will see…………….??
LANGOOR ke hath me ANGOOR.

Some More Facts

Useless facts (NOW you know everything! *nods*)
Do you think you know everything? *grins* try again.....

01. The liquid inside young coconuts Can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.

02. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

03. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. (I solemly swear never no cross a donkey)

04. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. (I think I'm going for a nap now... get fit lol)

05. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

06. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

07. The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE

08. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

09. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)

10. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. (There goes my daily dose of coffee)

11. Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

12. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."

13. Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!

14. Pearls melt in vinegar.

15. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

16. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs.

17. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

18. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)

And the best for last.....

19. Turtles can breathe through their butts. (I know some people like that, don't YOU?)

Now you know every thing (of importance, that is)!!! ;)

Amazing Fatcs

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.

2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they
start with .

4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.


5. There are two credit cards for every person in the
United States

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters
only on one row of the keyboard.

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath ..

9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze,
your heart stops for a millisecond.

11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
toughest tongue twister in the English language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to
suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and
die.

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from
history.
Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg
in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If
the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.

17. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and
laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.

18. Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil.

19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

20. A snail can sleep for three years.

21. All polar bears are left handed .

22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive
from each salad served in first-class.

23. Butterflies taste with their feet

A Big Joke

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of
them kept
complaining of family problems.
Finally, the other man said: "You think you have family problems?
Listen to
my situation."
"A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We
got
married and got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married
my
stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother. And my
father
became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her
father-in-law."
"Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.
This boy was
my half-brother because he was my father's son. But he was also
the son of
my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son. That made
me the
grand-father of my half-brother."
"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the
half-sister of my
son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother. This makes my father,
the
brother-in-law of my child, whose step-sister is my father's wife,
I am my
stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my
son is my
father's nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!"

Good Night Wish SMS's

1.Param pratapi,param tejasvi,maha kripalu,atyant dayalu,pujaniya.....

Maharaja "Rahul" Sune ja rahe hai.........

Sare Bhagton ko "Good Night".

2.Bindas sone ka,accha sapna dekhne ka.Bhoot se nahi darneka,bole to aayina nahi dekhne ka,aur blanket odhke fultus so janeka..
Good Wala Night...

3.Every night the same wish's.Arn't u bored of them.Let it be different this time.Let the devis guard u.mummies dance around u & vampares kiss u. Have a horrorful night.Ghost Night..

Friendship Messages 1

1. When the heart is broken and the tide is low,when it is hard to find a place to go,a word with a best friend will set u free,those words can be yours and the best friend can be me.

2. Friendship isn't about whom u have know the longest,who came 1st or who cares the best.It's all about who came and never left.

3.Be some one with a big Smile .Try to be happy all the while . When things go wrong don't get blue ...Just Smile and say " RAHUL" Where are u.