Santa Banta Jokes

1.Angry Santa:-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga mita dunga mita dunga.
Banta :standing besides said mein tujhe rubber hi nahi dunga.

2.Santa singh: Can u spell a word tht has more thn 1000 letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office. (How come a clever answer... )


3.Santa on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha kya? "
Santa replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....."

Some more Jokes

1.Q: What do you call a smart Indian?
A: Indigenious.

2.Once Sunta and Bunta were singing sitting on a tree. Suddenly Sunta started singing by sitting upside down.
Bunta asked Sunta, 'why are you sitting upside down and singing?'
Sunta replied, 'friend have some common sense, the 'A' side is over and I am now singing the 'B' side.'

3.Santa enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife askes : Why are you Doing this?
Santa replies: Doc told to check sugar level regularly

More of Santa Banta

1.Why can't Santa Singh make ice cubes?
He always forget the recipe.

2.How did the Banta Singh try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff

3.What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh

JOKES

Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 anhour ...??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the fieldTeacher : How?Student : Ladies first.

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

Good Jokes

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the otherensures U Continue to do so.

Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper neFlag Dikhaya,
Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married,
Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU DIDN'T KNOW

THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU DIDN'T KNOW

Did you know...It is impossible to lick your elbow.

A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

A shrimp's heart is in its head.

In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

Horses can't vomit.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vesselin your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contactwith extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

More Jokes

1.Santa Singh Was Walking on the road and paused to read a graffiti on the wall. It read 'Padne wala Gadha'.Santa Singh Got angry.He sat on a nearby bench,and after much thought he erased it and wrote'Likne wala Gadha'.

2.Wife:You Tell a man something.it goes in from one ear& comes out of the other.
Husband: Yoy tell a women something it goes in from both the ears and comes out of her mouth.

3.Santa Opens his lunch box in the middle of the road .......Why???
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from office.

SMS Jokes

1. Jack & Jill Laloo Style:
Jackwa aur Jilwa gaye upar hillwa pani bhari ke vaaste.Jackwa gir gaya, uka khopadi fut gaya aur Jilwa aawat ludkhan pura raste.

2.Santa's 4 most high tech invention:
a) Water proof towel.
b) Solar power torch.
c) A book on 'how to read'.
d) Pedal powered wheel chair.

3.Banta's Singh at a interview:
What is Ford??
Banta: Gaddi !!!
Good,What is OxFord???
Banta: Bailgaddi.

Excellent SMS's

1.If u read this then i m smart. If u save it then u accept that i m smart.If u forward it then u r spreading that i m smart. If u delete it then u are jealous because i m smart.

2.When time is fast,when movements are hard,when every one is busy,when seconds r few ,my SMS says that 1 of ur friends is still remembering u.

3.Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".

4.A man got 2 wishes frm GOD....he asked 4 d best Wine and a best woman in d wolrd........ NEXT Moment he had BEST WINE and Mother eresa Besise him.